Open-Mouth, Insert Foot

When you were growing up, did you ever hear your parents say “think before you speak”, or “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”. Well, mine did. Usually, I have a pretty good filter of what I should or shouldn’t say. Just because a thought comes into your head doesn’t mean it should come out of your mouth. However, recently I have had a few times where I just said the first thing that came to mind.

A few weeks back, I took a trip to Once Upon a Child with my daughters. The aisles in this store are not very big at all and the girls and I were trying to squeeze by an expecting mother. I had apologized because my girls were in no hurry to pass by. She proceeded to tell me it was no big deal because she had a few kids of her own. I got chatting with her and asked her how many kids she had. She told me that she had three. I said “that’s awesome and you’re due with your fourth?”

She gave me a blank stare and told me that she had just had twins. My face turned fifty shades of red and I quickly started to apologize; instead of shoving my foot in my mouth and walking away I decided that I should keep asking about her kids to make it all better. I really only made it worse, and awkward. From then on, I avoided every aisle that she was in. 

After I left the store, I called my husband and told him what I had done. He was SUPER encouraging. He laughed and gave me our famous “FAIL!” Then, he politely told me he had to get off the phone because he had to tell everyone what I had said.

But wait, there’s more.

On Easter Sunday, we had several new visitors at our church. It was exciting! I was on my way into the ladies room and almost ran into one of the visitors who was exiting. I said, “Good morning, it’s good to have you with us this morning.” She said, “Thank you.” As I was talking to her, I noticed that she looked like one of our members at the church. So of course I opened my mouth. I said, “Are you Matilda’s (the names have been changed to protect the innocent… er, people I insult) sister?” Quickly she replied, “daughter.” Oops. I did it again. I mean every daughter wants to be told she’s old like her mother, right? I’ll help you out with the answer: NO, they don’t! Learning from a recent experience I said, “Ok. Well it’s good to have you” and went on my way…

Side note: She hasn’t been back to our church since.

So, have you had what are some embarrassing, open-mouth, insert foot moments you’ve had?