The Art of Sitting Still

While my children have learned to behave in public (at least most of the time), there were many long years when I struggled to teach them to sit still during a church service. Whether we were hitting every church up and down I-65 while we were on deputation, or sitting in our tabernacle in Uganda, or just at our home church in Madison, Alabama, there were times when I felt like we were at a wrestling match instead of a church service.

With that in mind, I thought I'd give a few tips on training little ones to sit in a service. Not all of these suggestions may work for you, but here's a few ideas that might help.

1.  If your church posts their sermons online, or if they offer CD's of their messages, you may want to take advantage of it because for a while at least, you're not going to be getting very much out of the sermon when it's live.

2.  Don't wait until an actual church service to start training them. Take some time at home and tell them you're "practicing for church". Have them sit next to you on the couch, and just practice sitting still. Start with just a couple of minutes, and then gradually increase the time. Do not have the TV on, and don't have your phone nearby either. Every time they start moving or try to get down, correct their behavior by telling them no, and reminding them that they're practicing. Set a timer and have them sit still until it goes off. Reward success with a small treat. (An M&M or a penny to put in their bank.)

3. Sit towards the back of the auditorium during the service. There will be times when you have to take your child out, and people who come in and out of the auditorium during the service are very disruptive.

4. When they are very small, they won't be able to sit still for the entire length of the service, so have a small coloring book or notepad, or a small, quiet toy to occupy them. (Please don't let them color on the pews, carpets, hymnals, etc.)

5. Do NOT use your phone or tablet to entertain them. Although it makes things a lot easier, you're not teaching them to sit quietly in church. You're teaching them to entertain themselves with electronic devices during church. That's a much harder habit for them to break when they get older.

6. If they're having a tough time sitting still and following the rules during a service, deal with it at the time. Don't tell them you'll discipline them when they get home. Sometimes you will have to tell them, "If you do that again, I'm going to spank you." Hint:  They know if you mean the threat or not, so follow through. If necessary, take them to the foyer or restroom or someplace private and spank them.

7. When you're through disciplining, return to the auditorium. I can't stress this enough. If you spend the rest of the service sitting in the foyer watching them play, or if you take them to the nursery midway through the service, they will never learn to sit through a service because you're rewarding their bad behavior.

8. Even after your children have learned appropriate behavior, they'll still have days where they can't seem to sit still or they'll go through phases of testing your resolve. You may need to use added incentives. For instance, place 5-10 pennies in a cup and set it on the pew. Tell your child they're not allowed to touch the cup during the service, but if they behave, the pennies are theirs when the service is over. But also tell them that you will remove a penny every time they misbehave. You can do this with M&M's or skittles if you don't want to use pennies.

9. It probably goes without saying, but if you have to take the pennies or candies away, don't give them back. Tell your child they can try again to earn them during the next service.

10. Try to take care of needs such as bathroom trips and drinks of water before the service. Especially as they get older, they should be able to sit through the service without having to go to the restroom. And I've never yet seen a child die of thirst during a church service.

(You DO know that you should be able to make it through a 60-70 minute service without having to take a break, don't you?)

Once they are old enough to read and write fairly well, they need to focus on what the preacher is preaching. Have them take notes. They don't need to outline it, but they should be able to write down one or two things that they got from the sermon.

What about you? Have you got any tips or suggestions for training children to sit in a church service?