Hurry up and Wait!

Hurry up and wait! That seems like a lot of our life since we've gotten to Brazil. Several different people have said that phrase to me and it really fits.

There were a lot of steps involved in getting set up and it almost seemed like each one was dependent on the other! How are we ever going to get everything done!?!?! Well, it seems we are almost at the end of our "hurry up and wait" stage. We have a car, a house, our visas are registered on this side (well mostly), we finally have everything fixed in the house, and now we are just hurrying up to wait for language school! Lord willing, that will happen right after thanksgiving!

I am learning a lot in this hurry up and wait phase. God had this waiting time for a reason in our lives. I've learned that I'm not quite as tough as I thought. I didn't come to Brazil thinking that I wouldn't have struggles, but I considered myself tough. We had rough situations in America. I've dealt with mice and roaches and ants in my homes in America. I've lived for a week without any hot water in our home. I have even washed my laundry in a bathtub for a while because we did't have a washer. All of that which led me to believe that I was tough and prepared.

Go ahead. You can laugh. I am.

I have come to realize I am not tough. I realized that when it dawned on me that we have to have someone's help to do practically everything. ME... the independent, don't ask for help from anyone, me...

  I realized I'm not tough when we lived for over a week without being able to go in my own bedroom and bathroom because they were infested with bees.

 I realized I'm not tough when I looked up one night and there was a bat flying in my living room... and he came back the next couple of nights as well.

I realized I'm not tough when I woke up one morning to find my five month old like this.

Those are all the mosquito or gnat bites she got in one night. 

I realized I was not tough when I all we ate was chicken soup, chicken salad, and sandwiches for two weeks because I was too scared to try and fail at making anything else. 

I realized I was not tough when I realized that they don't have salsa here in Brazil, and you can't find everything necessary to make it! Who doesn't have salsa!?!? I just feel like that's a crime and everyone should have chips and salsa. 

I realized I'm not tough when I see pictures of my family all bundled up in coats and I remember that it's holiday season. "I'm dreaming of a green and pineappley Christmas"  just doesn't have the same Bing Crosby flair. 

Now that I've had my pity party, I've also realized...

I don't have to be tough.

God doesn't expect me to be tough. He expects me to lean on Him for that strength that I am finding out I don't have.

As hard as it has been to feel like we're here in Brazil and accomplishing absolutely nothing because we don't speak Portuguese, there's been a reason to hurry up and wait. Because for me to be used here, I think I had to come to that realization that I'm not tough, and that I need to stop trying to do everything on my own. 

Now, I'm off to sweep up the bugs that invaded my house in the night.  But before I go, for your baby viewing pleasure!!