Are You Talking to Me?

I did not want to be a missionary when I was growing up. I did not grow up in a missions-minded church, and the few missionaries that came through were ... odd. At least, I thought they were. All the missionaries had the same three basic problems in my childish mind:

First, they dressed as if they got their clothes from a refugee barrel. None of them were very stylish. Second, all of them were socially awkward. And third, they all had only one message:  GO.

These "flaws" greatly annoyed me. I didn't realize that missionaries dress that way because sometimes they can't afford anything else. And it never occurred to me that spending hours locked into your vehicle with only your family while you were on deputation might make you lack a little in social graces. As for their message, I figured that's what they were supposed to say, but their message did not motivate me. In fact, my exact words were, "I'd surrender to be a missionary, but with my luck, God would send me to Africa."

Fast forward twenty years. My husband and I were in the ministry, and we had close friends that surrendered to be missionaries. As we watched them prepare to follow God's calling, we felt like our experiences with them helped us to have a better view of how to help missionaries through the local church.

After a while our conversations turned from helping missionaries to becoming missionaries. I didn't really aspire to be a missionary, but my view had grown past my childhood impressions. I freely admit that I have never been called to the mission field. But I am called to follow my husband, so I watched and prayed with him as he went back and forth over this decision. Sometimes we thought God might be calling us. At other times we thought He was equipping us to better help missionaries. And then sometimes we thought He might be preparing us to become missionaries someday in the future. When Terry asked my opinion, I told him I'd follow him anywhere, but please make sure God was actually calling us before he committed us to something.

We struggled back and forth with this decision all through our church's missions conference. Then, the Sunday after the conference, our Pastor preached on, "I'll make a difference if I can make a deal." I was sitting with the choir during the sermon and I was shocked as he started preaching. Was this message for us?

I couldn't see Terry from where I sat, but the longer the sermon went, the more I was convinced that God was speaking to us. When the invitation started, I tried to inconspicuously watch, but Terry didn't come down the aisle. I think we sang over a hundred verses that day and with each one I prayed a little harder that my husband would follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. Then I suddenly saw him halfway down the aisle, headed for the altar. My prayer was answered, but I had the overwhelming urge to shout for him to go back to the pew and think about it a little more.

It was a frightening step, but I never doubted the fact that God was right with us every step of the way. And so much of the blessings and growth in our lives since then have been a result of that step of obedience.

God may not be calling you to a foreign field, but if you're His child, He is calling you to do something. Are you listening? Are you following?