Or maybe it's not so much that I feel the weight of these problems, but that I shoulder the weight of these problems. There are times, control freak that I am, that I feel the outcome couldn't possibly be satisfactory if I don't supervise every inch of the circumstances.
Recently I was fretting and stewing over a situation that I could not control. I was very worried because the outcome was totally in the hands of other people and we weren't at all sure what would happen. We did know that their decisions would ultimately affect us.
I wanted my husband to step in and "lay down the law" so to speak, simply telling people what needed to be done and what couldn't be done. And when and where and how it should or shouldn't be done, as long as he was at it. Not that I actually told him that because that might be construed as nagging. I simply told him how worried I was and exactly what had happened and who had said and done what and what was going to happen next if this wasn't taken care of soon.
Finally my husband stopped my flood of words. "I know what's at stake here," he said. "But if we're not careful, it could get worse instead of better. You need to trust me enough to step back and let me handle it the way it needs to be handled."
His words stopped me in my tracks as I realized something. I do trust him.
He does know what's at stake. He does want the same results I do. And frankly, he has more patience when it comes to dealing with the circumstances than I do. Chances are it will have a better outcome if he handles it. All I have to do is step back and trust him, even if I can't see what he's doing. Even if I can't see the end.
And then I realized how often I do the same thing with God. I worry and fret and stew about things. And all the time God is saying, "I know what's at stake. Just trust me."
Why do I keep forgetting that? Why do I act as if it's all up to me? It's such a relief to know that I can trust Him.
You can too.
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
Thank you for that reminder Jill. Pastor's wife or not, I hate it when I forget that and begin to concoct a plan without trusting my husband or the Lord. Praying for you and your ministry!
ReplyDeleteThat part about controlling every inch of the circumstances was convicting! I must remember that God can definitely handle it better than I can, even if I think my manipulations would work better. Thanks for the encouragement!
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