The Gift That Keeps on Taking

It has come to my attention recently that society in general, and people specifically (because people are what actually make up society in general) have lost the art of gift-giving. Actually, maybe they never had the knack in the first place.

I think we all should realize that no one should just give out gifts willy-nilly. There are certain rules that aren't covered all that often, but they need to be followed before anyone ever decides to give a gift to someone else.

The first rule is the most simple, but also the base for every other rule.

Rule #1:  Once you give the gift it is no longer yours.

This may seem a little obvious to you, but there's a lot of nuance to this rule. The very second you hand the gift to someone, it becomes their possession and not yours.

Once you understand this basic rule, you can understand several other rules.

Like the fact that, once the gift is no longer yours, you have no say in how the one who receives the gift uses the gift. For instance, you may buy a centerpiece for your sister and tell her, "I thought it would look perfect on your dining room table."

You may be the most wonderful person in the world for thinking of your sister at all. You may have exquisite taste. You may actually be right in thinking that it would look perfect on your sister's table.

But since the centerpiece no longer belongs to you, you have no right to say where your sister keeps it. She may want it on her end table. Or nailed up over the door like a swag. Or decorating the top shelf in her closet. It's her choice because of Rule #1.

Rule #2 is a variation of Rule #1. Rule #2 says that you can't put conditions on the gift. For instance, you can't give a rug or sweater or a kitchen pot to someone and then tell them, "But if you ever get tired of it, I want it back." Once again, Rule #1 says that you can't say what happens to that gift. It no longer belongs to you. This means that the receiver can use the gift. Or they can put the gift in a closet and never look at it again. Or they can sell the gift on eBay or stick it in a garage sale.

Rule #3 says you can't keep reminding the gift receiver of how much time/money/effort you put into their gift. That's just rude. Don't do it.

All of this might seem a little frustrating, especially if the person who received your gift doesn't seem to use it or appreciate it properly. If that's the case, know that there's no rule that says you ever have to give them another gift.

So with these rules in mind, how good of a gift-giver are you?