To Tell the Truth

Parents begin telling their children facts from the moment the child is born. Facts such as "I love you" and "you're the sweetest baby in the whole world" to "it'll be okay" and "Mommy's right here".  Truth is reassuring.

As they get older, you still tell truth, but sometimes you tell them things that they don't like as well such as, "No, you can't have that" and "Yes, you will go to bed now".

Then your children get older yet and you can live by the old adage that the truth hurts. Because it sometimes does. Truths such as, "It's not all about you", and "yes, you do have to be nice to them".

Most of these moments of truth come from questions the children ask such as, "Why?", or circumstances that they struggle with.

By the time your children are adults, you would think the situation would be different, but sometimes you still find yourself having to impart moments of truth to your offspring. The questions children ask at a young age are usually born out of innocence and naivete. Adult children, however, usually ask questions because they are challenging your judgment or your choices in life. At those moments, the truth you speak is your best defense. It's also the best weapon  tool for stopping these argumentative questions in their tracks. These moments of truth could be something along the lines of the following:

When you have unknowingly dropped a rule or guideline from one child to the next, you might hear, "That was never allowed when I was his age". The truth that protects you would be:  "You were our first child so we made all our mistakes on you."

Follow that statement with this truth to head off any complaints:  "If you have a problem with that, take it up with God. He's the One who made you the oldest. Apparently He felt you could handle it."

A similar problem could surface if one child complains: "You never let me do that".  Your answer should be, "Obviously we like him better than we did you." While not strictly true, it does divert the complainer. After all, they're not looking for you reasoning. They simply want to complain about FairPlay.

You may some day have a situation where one of your children is preparing pictures for a display on their graduation table. By the time you had this sixth child, you were often too busy living life to have time to capture it in photos. Your failure may be pointed out when the graduating child asks, "Why don't I have any pictures between the time I was ten and the time I was fifteen?" Rather than own up to your mistakes, you could answer, "I'm not going to lie to you. You hit an ugly phase."

It may not help the child's psyche, but it will absolve you of guilt.

Got any "truths" you've had to share with your children?