The Perfect Pastor's Wife

Having been a pastor's wife for many years, I've learned a few things about what's expected from a pastor's family. In case your church is looking for a new pastor, I thought the following checklist might be relevant so that you know you're getting the best pastor's wife possible.

• She should be meek. She can cause a lot of trouble if she doesn't know when to keep her mouth shut.

• She should be a leader. Someone has to head up the flower committee and the kitchen committee.

• She should be gentle. No one likes a bossy pastor's wife. Make sure she knows how to communicate with suggestions instead of orders.

• The pastor's wife should be musically inclined. She ought to be able to play at least one instrument, piano and/or organ preferably. A guitar-playing pastor's wife indicates a hippie background. She should also be able to sing, but she should sing alto. She can't take the spotlight from others by getting all the good solo spots in the choir.

• A pastor's wife needs to have a spirit of absolution. She should be able to give an understanding nod and a smile when people tell her they're laying out of Sunday services in order to go to a family picnic.

• She should be an adequate cook, but not a great one. She should be able to bring something to a church fellowship that will be tasty, but won't bump Miss Trudie's tuna casserole from the most requested dish list. 

• She ought to have a teachable spirit, so that she can graciously accept any self-improvement suggestions that come her way.

• She needs to be an intercessor who can pass on to the pastor any problems you tell her about some of the pastor's sermons. Or campaigns. Or aftershave. 

• She should be able to teach children and keep them entertained without resorting to discipline so that she doesn't offend their parents.

• It's important that she dress well, but not be the best-dressed lady at church. 

• She should be able to teach her children to be the best behaved at church, while instilling in them a humble spirit so that they don't realize they're the best behaved children at church.

• She should be willing and able to fill in at the last minute for any Sunday School teacher, junior church worker or nursery worker that doesn't show up.

• She should know not to correct anyone else's children.

• She should be willing to stand by and listen while others correct her children, and have a grateful attitude for their help.

Obviously this is not an exhaustive list, but it should give you a start in the right direction when you look for the perfect pastor's wife. Got any requirements you'd like to add?